Make room for love!

"Thank you."

It should have been me saying those words.  After all, it was a friend who had stuck her arm through my car window to help me get off my coat.  [One of the "twisty" things I am still unable to do post-surgery).

She was thanking me for letting her help me.  Sigh.  That has stuck in my head this entire holiday season.  No one wants to need help from others.  When we do, we hope we accept it gracefully.

It is certainly no accident that I've spent the last 6 weeks learning how to receive gracefully - especially these last three weeks during Advent, when we are to be preparing and making room for the ultimate gift in the form of a baby.  A free gift to us, if we are just willing to receive it.

How many of us will be stubborn and think we don't need it?  How many of us continue to function as if we can do it all ourselves?

I read this last night - and it reinforced the lessons of the past few weeks...

"You can not receive a gift unless you have a place for it in your life.  You cannot learn anything if you think you know it all.  You cannot receive love unless you know there is a place in you that is empty and needs love to fill it." (John Buchanan, Christian Century)

 Who can't use a little more love in their world???

So, my Christmas wish for us all of us that we make room for the gift of love, that is given to us freely if we just accept it.

May you all have a blessed Christmas season and joyous New Year!

A Hard Nut to Crack

It's been an odd Advent.  Hampered in "doing" by my recovery from surgery, I have had the opportunity to do a lot of reading and reflecting.  I have been in midst of a personal quest for direction, which has lead to me to generate a pile of books that might help me get "answers".  And with the tragic events of the last few days, again I find myself looking every where to find "answers".

So, imagine my confusion as I find myself coming back to two words over and over.  Mystery and nuts. What??   

Christmas, in a nutshell, is a mystery.

I've been reading God is in the Manger, an Advent devotional using Dietrich Bonhoeffer's writings.  Week two was spent on the word mystery:

"The lack of mystery in our modern life is our downfall and our poverty."

"How we fail to understand when we think the task...is to solve the mystery of God, to drag it down to the flat, ordinary wisdom of human experience and reason!  It's sole office is to...glorify Gods mystery precisely as mystery."

It's hard to get a grasp on mystery.  It's hard to allow mystery to be the final answer.  

"Children have open, wide-awake eyes, because they know that they are surrounded by the mystery...we [adults] destroy the mystery because we sense that here we reach the boundary of our being."

I am comforted by these words when I think of the children who lost their lives last week.  I see them entering heaven with wide-awake eyes, open to the mystery.  Even as we here on earth remain, trying to find answers.  Trying to understand what can not be understood.

And so it is with Christmas.  We over complicate it.  We want to understand.  It is so simple, that we think we need to make it harder.  It's like a Rube Goldberg experiment...because we will still end up at the same place, it just takes longer.

Christmas, in a nutshell, is a mystery.  And that is the gift.  In the midst of chaos, God loved us enough to send us a mystery in the form of a baby.  Mystery is the gift.  It lets us be free and not understand.  

This is hard.  And we are bad at it.  But maybe it helps if we realize we are surrounded by all kinds of mystery that we never question.  Like nuts.  If you think about it, the inside of every nut is a mystery.  We never know if the nut will be good, bad, whole, broken.  We open it and just accept what we get.  We accept the mystery.

I am not a poetry person, but today I read this  poem.  I was struck by the irony "I hate mysteries...and yet he sits all season snapping nuts".

May we all get a little nutty about the mystery this Christmas!

PS - I was also struck by the timely post of this video by my pastor as I pondered nuts....sometimes God knocks so loud the door just falls over.

Sabbath from "Self"

My husband will tell you I have this REALLY annoying habit.  I ask him how his day was...and then when he doesn't answer within 3 seconds I continue to talk, essentially telling him how my day was.   Have I mentioned he is an incredibly tolerant man???

I went to see a friend in the hospital today.  Luckily, this is not something I often have the chance to do - but even when I do I hesitate to go.  I am that person who thinks I should help "distract" the patient from their woes.  So, I usually end up doing all the talking.  And its's usually about me.

I love Facebook - I know stuff about people that I would not other wise know, especially folks who are far away.  Even stupid stuff.  Seemingly unimportant stuff.  But, that's what I like about it.  People talk about themselves to other people.  Frankly, isn't that the whole point of a status update?  Letting everyone know about you?   

Do you sense a trend?  Here's a shocker:  We are a totally self-absorbed society.  I would have liked to think I was immune from this.  My current medical woes have only highlighted how I have been sucked in like every body else.  I will talk about it to anyone who wants to sympathize with me.  How did we get here?

I don't think we do it intentionally.  We relate to others by common experience - so we try to find something in our world that helps us relate to someone else's world.  We are creatures of our environment.  And our environment has gotten increasingly complicated.  Frankly, there is a lot to keep track of, and most times we can barely keep up with our own little world, let alone what someone else is going through.

But we need to.  We need to care about what others are going through.  Or, at least I'd like to think we do to remain a humane and civil society.  Which means we need to ask..and we need to allow time to listen to the answer.

SO, I am going to try a little experiment.  It was an idea I read somewhere.  A 24-hour Sabbath from MYSELF.  I'll admit, I have tried it before and failed. No status updates on Facebook.   No going on about ME.  And every conversation would start: but how are YOU doin'?

We'll see how it goes this time.  But I am not sure I am allowed to tell you - cause then it would be about ME!

Some days are like a herd of elephants

I should not have time to write this.  In fact, if things were going according to MY plan, I'd be in Richmond sitting in a classroom right now.  Instead, I will make an attempt at blog therapy.  Because, really this writing thing is not to make you feel better, but to make me feel better. 

My original reasoning for creating this blog was to document some of the more behind-the scenes struggles of this stay-at-home mom as she seeks to live out a Christian life in this crazy world.  I'm not here to whine about laundry or that I have guilt about not feeding my kids enough veggies this week.  I am here to highlight the good, the bad and the ugly of trying to actually live out what we are called to do if we claim to be Christian.

So, today is one of the ugly days.  Yes, we all have them.  Even if no one likes to admit them.  The days when our head tells us there is a reason for the things that happen, but our hearts are hardened to hear any of it.  Those days when no matter what we do, we get no comfort.

"I thought you were in Richmond today?".  The words were so innocent - how was she to know they were like a dagger in my heart??  I have had to give up a class I spent months preparing for; having given up things that I love to make room for this "new thing" that I felt called to do.  I was confident I was being obedient and that this was what I was supposed to be doing.

Little did I know that what I was really doing was making room...so I could have a surgery that will disrupt all the plans I made in one foul swoop.

I officially dropped my class yesterday.  Months of preparing, gone in one quick click of the mouse.  When I read this is sounds SO melodramatic.  People are dying; people are out of work.  And here I am whining about not being able to go to class.  I get it.  I do.  But I have also been told previously that the horse on my back is no less heavy just cause my neighbor is carrying an elephant.  For me, the past few days have felt like a herd of elephants.    

SO, there you have it.  Today is one of the ugly days.  Don't come ask me to smile or pretend I am in a good mood.  Don't tell me it will all work out.  I already KNOW that.  It's just that today I am not FEELING it.  And that's just how it is some days.  And you know what - THAT'S OK.  It doesn't mean I didn't pray.  I did - but really it was more of a pity party.  It doesn't mean I don't appreciate all the praying others are doing for me.  Frankly, it's about the only source of comfort I have found in this whole mess.

And tomorrow might be a better day.  But it might not.  And that's OK too.  Cause the bottom line is that as a Christian I don't have to be perfect.   I am allowed to have bad days, and I don't have to apologize for it.  So I am not going to.  In the end, what being a Christian really gives me is hope.  Today might suck, but tomorrow is a new day, and my head knows deep down that God is already doing a new thing.  The hope is that tomorrow my heart feels it.

VBS Top 10

I should probably be working on tomorrow's lesson.  VBS has crossed the hump, with two days left.  So far, it's had everything I knew it would have - the good and the "challenging"! Even though I have these huge bags under my eyes, the  "God" stuff has made it worth every minute. And that's just the things I know about.  How I wish I could be a fly on the walls all over the church when these kids invade for the week.  My cup overflows.  I have no idea why I get so into VBS - well, I do, but only other VBS types like me understand.  

So - in honor of our theme today (Learn) - here's a few tips and other things I have learned from VBS over the years:

1. It doesn’t matter how prepared you are, nothing ever goes as you planned.  Usually this works out better than the original plan.

2.  Don’t hint to the VBS director that you have some free time on your hands, cause there is no such thing as having too many volunteers J

 3.     The music should always be turned up louder.  

4.  Bathroom breaks are a group event, as are field trips to the water fountain.

5.      Make friends with the kitchen crew. They feed you.  And they let you play with your food.

6.    Always say more prayers for the craft people. You might have a bunch of kids, but they supervise all those kids with paint brushes in hand.

7.   Coffee. Drink. More. Coffee.

8.  Age or physical limitation is no reason to stay away. VBS has a place for everyone, young and “wise”. 

9.   There is no greater joy than a VBS hug.

10.           When it gets tough, stick with it. It’s all worth it. 

Silence and Soul Restoration

He restoreth my soul

These words from the 23rd Psalm are on my mind.  I've learned not to question why certain scripture verses stick out at certain times - but I'll admit this one puzzled me more than most.  Blasphemous as it may be, I am not a huge fan of the 23rd Psalm as many are.  Most likely, it reminds me of times of illness, or dark times.  The valleys of life.  It's just not my "go to" scripture.  Except when it is.

1 2 3 Jump!!!

Summer is in full swing!  As I write this I am sitting by the pool.  We spend every summer Sunday afternoon here, relax after church and usually grill our dinner.  I also call this "Daddy's turn to play with the kids".  I often don't even get in the water,  but doze in a chair listening to the joy that surrounds me.  It's just a cheery place to be. 

Water has been on the mind this week.  We spent a day in Baltimore harbor touring tall ships and naval vessels.  We spent an afternoon with a friend at the pool playing goofy games like monkey in the middle.  And today is family day.  So, of course I was not surprised that one of the bible texts for the lectionary this week dealt with water.  God has a great sense of humor. 

There was not much joy in this water story though. There was a storm and the disciples were scared.

"Why are you so afraid?", Jesus asked them.

That reminded me of a scene from the pool this week.  A little girl about 4 years old was by the side, and her father was in the pool encouraging her to jump in. "Don't be afraid, I will catch you" he kept telling her.  She would take a deep breath, run up to the edge...and come to a complete stop.  She did this a few times.  One time she came up, peered over the edge and dipped her toe in.  

"Don't be afraid.  I'll catch you". 

And isn't that just the same message Jesus wanted his disciples to understand?  Jesus always has his arms out, ready to catch us whether we are caught in a storm or afraid at the waters edge. 

This picture is of a different 4-year old girl.  She is obviously not afraid to jump right into that pool.  Full speed ahead and no looking back.   Oh that we were all able to embrace that spirit !  And how thankful that with Jesus in our hearts, we can. 

Oh and that little girl at the pool?  She did eventually jump in.  And her dad caught her.  Just like he said he would.

When Lightning Strikes

I like to call it my secret place.  Though it's quite available to anyone if you know about it.  The little chapel in the woods behind my church is a little slice of peace square in the middle of crazy northern Virginia.  You can sit there for hours and never know there is chaos waiting just on the other side of the tree line.  When it's hot it provides shady respite, and no matter what, there is always a breeze.  The Spirit is alive in that place.

Today I found myself fixated by a certain tree that I guess I never noticed before, even though it is in plain view.  It was a tree that looked like it was dying if not already dead...but what most intrigued me was the bark peeling off the trunk.  While the outside of the trunk looked weathered and worn, a few strips of the bark were peeled away to reveal  fresh wood underneath.  Upon closer inspection, there was a variety of new things growing around the tree. I don't know if the tree was dead or not, but it was certainly an incubator of life around it.  Oh the analogies that went through my head!  

First, the issue of the layers of bark.  I have been participating in an online book discussion for "Grace for the Good Girl" by Emily Freeman.  We have started off the discussion talking about the "masks" we wear.   There are hundreds of women signed up for this.  That 's a LOT of mask wearing.  And we are finding ways to help each other shed them.  Kind of like peeling the bark off a tree.  

Amid all this, I was reminded of a favorite verse - Romans 12:2 - "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God - what is good and acceptable and PERFECT." (emphasis mine)

Perfect - the word that get us good girls into trouble.  I am a word buff, so I looked up the etymology of the word.  In its history it can be traced to the translation "to completely perform".  But it also has a different history - "to bring to full development".

What a comfort that brings!  God does not want us to be perfect.   He does not want us to perform.  What He wants is for us to turn to him so that we can see we are already perfect in his eyes, so he can bring us to full development.

A friend speculated that the tree had its bark revealed as a result of a lightning strike.  And isn't that just what is takes to get us to peel away the masks we wear?  Something dramatic occurs to start the process?

The good news is that when we peel back the bark on something that may have seemed dead, we can discover new life.  That reminds me of another favorite verse:

 "So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; everything old has passed away; see everything has become new!" (2 Cor 5:17)

When a God Girl Goes (almost) Bad

Huh.  Who knew a simple book purchase would lead to a mea culpa? But there you have it.

A week ago I mentioned in an off-hand Face book post I had purchased a copy of the "hot" book Fifty Shades of Grey.  In the following days, several folks I know approached me publicly and privately with concern about this.  Frankly, I really didn't know what all the fuss was about.  So I dug a little deeper.  When I bought the book I only knew that a lot of moms were reading it.  And talking about it in giggles.  But they would only mention glossed over allusions to its content, no specifics.  So, when I bought it I was thinking it was more like Twilight - something to pass the time, but give no literary honor to.

But this post is not about the book, or whether I read it or not (I actually plan to return it).  This post is not about if YOU read it or not.  This post is about my experience as a Christian female who is just as big a sinner as anyone else and just as easily tempted by the fads of the world.  And it's about an example of how having other Christians in my life is a comfort and support, especially when we may be making poor choices.

My friends took a risk approaching me with their concern.  Some felt they may have crossed a line.  I'll admit I was a bit embarrassed to be caught in such a situation.  But maybe that's the point?  Their concern made me find out a bit more information and think twice before I acted.  What a blessing.  And what an example of what we are called to do as Christians.  We are not to be judgmental, but we are called to speak the truth in love.  If we can not appeal to fellow Christians about how we live our lives, then how much more difficult is it to do that effectively with those who have not experienced God's grace.

SO, as opposed to being annoyed with my friends, I am grateful for their example.  And I am hopeful that I may use that example in future situations.  I have many Christian friends who probably saw my post and made a judgment OR shook their heads but thought it was none of their business.  SO, thanks to the ones brave enough to call me on it.

Are We There Yet?

I love the first few hours of a big road trip.  The car is packed, everyone organized into their claimed area of the van.  My son opens his "car snacks" about 10 minutes away from home. Because its a road trip. And he can.  

The first hundred miles are a breeze - we don't even have to search for a new radio station.  The entire experience is one of excitement and anticipation of what adventures we will find.  Because, for our family, the road trip is as much about the unplanned side trip than the final destination.

On one trip through Wisconsin, we passed an exit sign called "Black River Falls".  Nic, only 4 at the time, wondered aloud if that meant they had a water fall.  I said, "Let's find out".  This is the picture of the falls we found.  It led to a road that led right thru Pepin, WI - birthplace of Laura Ingalls Wilder.  They had a museum.  I slammed on the breaks and pulled a big fat U-turn in the middle of the highway.  I was in Little House on the Prairie heaven.  All thanks to a random exit sign.  We have also stumbled upon things like the Iowa Speedway (yeah Rusty Wallace!) and the Covered Bridges of Madison County.  Yes, the ones in the movie.  

Because, it's all about the journey. 

What is it about a road trip that allows us to welcome and encourage unplanned side trips? And why is that so unwelcome in pretty much every other aspect of our lives?  Why is it so hard, even when we know how great it can be, to embrace and celebrate the unexpected and the unknown of the every day with the same excitement and anticipation of a road trip? 

I'd like to think we can. There are probably people that do.  And learning to do that is a journey in itself.  I used to plan my life 12 months in advance at least, and God forbid you call to tell me you were gonna be late for dinner.  It's a daily struggle, but I have tried to rely less on MY plans, and more on God's will.  Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the two, and it's nice when they over lap.  But when they don't, I'll still have dinner waiting for you.  

We are less than a month away from a big road trip, and about the only thing I know for sure is that we are headed  to New England.  RIght now I should be figuring out places to rest our heads as we travel north.  But yet here I write.  It's not that I am not looking forward to our trip - but I am more curious about the unplanned adventures - so maybe we should just get in the car and drive.  If no one knows where we are going, then when they ask "Are we there yet?" I can stop the car and say "Yes, we are"!

Love and Marriage

Perhaps I am just being sappy - but today I have been awash in gratitude for the opportunity to share the last 14 years married to an amazing man.  He may be hundreds of miles away and the chaos of the day reigns on the home schedule - but I am comforted knowing that, even apart, it is a blessing to be part of such a special relationship.

Last night I got out the big wedding album and looked through every page remembering the joy of that day.  I found myself looking over and over again at one particular photo - and was caught by how much it really reflects how we started our journey - and where we find ourselves today.  It's not the bouquet and garter toss or the cake cutting (we were VERY polite).  Rather - it was the picture below - with the two officiants.  One a female Presbyterian pastor and one an Irish Catholic priest (complete with brogue).  There, at the beginning of our journey, was the perfect example of how our faith, even with its differences, stands at the center of our relationship.

It wasn't always obvious at first.  I don't think we really thought about it.  We knew what we were getting into after having dated for 6 years.  We had gone to church with each other for years, went thru 2 different sets of pre-marriage preparation, filled out twice the paper work, and negotiated the fine line of wedding jargon in order that our union would be seen as valid in both churches.  Then we had a really awesome party to celebrate getting through all that!

Now, 14 years and 2 kids later - we continue to participate in two different faith communities, fill out twice the paperwork, and negotiate the fine lines of our differing beliefs.  Guess not much has changed!

And maybe that's the point?  I've been trying to pinpoint the reasons our marriage has not only survived, but grown and flourished, in a world that seems determined to de-value the institution as passé.  It's not just about going to church.  I've seen long lasting marriages between people who never go to church, and I've seen divorce between active church members.  I could say our situation is the benefit of socio-economic status, luck, determination - or some combination of that.  I could say that we've had good examples to follow - of both what to do and what not to do.  That probably all plays a part.  And it's not like we have not had our share of trouble - we've dealt with economic challenges, health issues, family stress, church controversies and all the other ways life throws a curve ball.  

But underneath it all, there has always been a confidence that regardless of what the day brought, our individual faith grew by an exponential factor when we faced the day together - and so did our ability to deal with whatever God decided to send our way.  

  

Slow Leak or a Flat Tire?

Recently, I discovered I had a slow leak in the tire of my 3 month old car.  It ended up being patched twice in a week.   But before I could get it fixed, I was driving around with a bizarre electronic symbol on my dashbord  alerting me to the fact that my air pressure was low.   Mostly I just tried to ignore it.

As a result of this issue - I became a quick expert in using a tire pressure gauge.  I kept the air compressor in my car and filled up the tire whenever it got below a certain point.

Who cares, right?  

In my bizarre way of over-analyzing things, I saw this symbol of air pressure as a reflection of life.  How nice it would be to have a buzzer that went off when our lives had a slow leak!  We know when we have a flat tire.  It's obvious.  We drop everything and fix it cause we know we won't get anywhere until we do.  But those slow leaks can be easy to ignore - we keep thinking other things are more important.

A wise friend reminded me yesterday that indeed we DO have an inner pressure gauge!  The Holy Spirit  is there to guide us, and warn us when our pressure is getting low and we need to fill ourselves back up.  The problem is, much like the annoying light on the dashboard, we often just want to ignore it.

SO, as the May calendar looms and every day seems to get more ridiculous, I am taking another look and trying to patch the leak before the tire has a blow out....

A Behind-the-Scenes Peek!

I am sitting in the Narthex of my church passing time until an appointment for an MRI.   I am watching as a devoted couple in the church works on a creation of the tomb which will provide a visual guide for our congregation's journey through Holy Week.  The church secretary is here way past her official time, and the pastor is outside with tools putting up the sign promoting our service times this Sunday.  The landscape company is riding around the property getting the grass to a manageable level.  One of the saints of the church is wandering round doing all the little behind the scenes "fix it" jobs that he does.  The music director is working on the details of all the choral and instrument offerings that will be offered up.

Yes, it must be the Tuesday before Easter, LOL.  And I am just sitting here watching everyone else and loving how one congregation embodies all that we are to be and do as Christians.  We are to share our gifts with others.  We are to invite others to join us.  We are to do without expectation of anything in return.  Each doing his own part in the body of Christ.

And I am blessed just to be a small  part of it all.

My Daddy's Hanky

I am a crier.  This I can not deny.   Dating back to my younger days watching Little House on the Prairie, I was a sucker for every tear-jerking moment they put on the screen.  And, in general, I believe a good cry is therapeutic – despite the puffy eyes and raging headache that usually follow.

There has been an above average amount of tears shed the past few days.  Not on my own behalf, but on the behalf of others who are experiencing some of the deepest pain life on this earth can bring.  As a family bears the weight of watching a child live out his last days, I have found very few words that seem adequate to address their needs.  It has truly been a privilege to cover this family in prayer, and to see the response of a community to their physical and spiritual needs. 

My head is still pounding from what one friend described as “an emotionally intense morning”.   Despite forethought on my part, I still ran out of Kleenex.  And then I found myself wistfully thinking about my dad.  My dad is one of the few men who still carry a handkerchief (“hanky”) in his pocket.  As a kid, I always thought it was weird.  No one else that I knew did this.  But, truth be told, there is nothing more comforting than my dad’s hanky after a good cry.  It might not have happened very often – but I remember very vividly a few times when I was with my dad and the dam just burst open.  And there he was with his hanky and open arms.  No words necessary. 

A hanky doesn’t become useless once its wet – it dries pretty quick and you can keep using it.  No fear of running out.  Once a new one gets broken in and washed a few times, it becomes nice and soft like an old worn pair of jeans.  It doesn’t leave your eyes and nose feeling like they’ve just been scratched like paper tissues do.  

In an unrelated event – today I have also been dwelling on the word Abba and the various meanings of that word.  Jesus spoke this word in one of his moments of deepest anguish before being arrested in the Garden of Gesthemane.  People a lot more knowledgeable than me have likened this term to mean “Father” – but they acknowledge that there is no good English equivalent to express the true meaning behind this word.  Some have said it is like the term “Daddy”, while others say that terminology is a sign of disrespect.

As I think about the anguish Jesus was feeling, and I think about the anguish this family is feeling - I remember the comfort of the hanky which was often accompanied by a whimper of “Oh Daddy” .  No other words necessary.    

Wanna K.I.S.S. ?

I have a habit of making things more complicated than they sometimes need to be.  Like Emeril, I like to kick it up a notch.  or two.  For the most part I think it's worth it - even though it can tend to drive others around me a bit bonkers.

But it doesn't always work.  Take last year. I was all geared up to dive into 40 days of contemplative prayer during Lent.  I had not just one, but 2 books, and a brand new journal with a butterfly design.  The first couple days I sat down in my "prayer chair" at the allotted time, went thru the guided exercises, took deep breaths, made the appropriate notations.  By Day 4 I sat there and seemed only to be able to focus on the noise of the heat turning on and off and reflected on how there is no such thing as real silence.  It was not working.  I gave up a few days after that.  So much for acquiring that "new spiritual discipline".  

SO, while not really making it an official "thing", this year I have been trying to simplify during Lent.  Simple meals.  Simpler calendar where possible.  Even simple prayer?

Back in January, my bible study of the book of Luke hit Chapter 11 where Jesus teaches his disciples to pray - the verses form the basis of what many faith traditions use for the Lord's Prayer. I learned this as a child and have been saying it for years, but it began to take on a fresh meaning as I was reminded how most (all?) of our daily needs can be met in these simple, familiar words. 

SO, for Lent I have been saying the Lord's Prayer.  No fancy books, no journal, nothing complicated about it.  A lot of the time, I listen to a sung version of it, and have included a recent favorite version below.  

Some times, you just need to K.I.S.S. (keep it simple and sincere!)

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day, our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.

Would you remain homeless to keep your cats?

It's been one of those days where the heart strings are being tugged hard.  I experienced yet another in a growing collection of encounters that leave me wondering.  So, I'll just share.  

For about the 4th time in the past year, I have had an encounter with a homeless person.  I have already written about one such encounter with a man on a street corner in Richmond here.  One time I was approached in a church parking lot (the person wanted to know if the church had a food bank) and one time I was approached in a strip mall parking lot by a woman who needed a place to live.  They all caught me off guard and they all left me wondering afterward what I could have done differently. 

Today's encounter seemed to be an extension of the previous ones.  A woman was sitting in an intersection near my house - a place where I have never seen a homeless person before.  She was on the inside barrier, and my car stopped at the light to where I was literally eye level with her.  Sigh.  I knew what I needed to do - but this time it was not as much a dilemma as it had seemed on those earlier times.  I rolled down my window and handed her whatever cash I had on hand (I was literally on the way to the bank so the sum total was only about $10). I told her I'd pray that her situation improved, and I asked her if she had tried out local shelters or the county for assistance.  She said yes - but the main issue was no one would take her AND her cats.  (yes, I know....what the ???)  She was well spoken and indicated she knew quite well that many people did not understand how she would sacrifice her own well being for a bunch of animals.  Then she said, "those cats have been there for me when no one else has, and I am not going to leave them now".  

wow.  I honestly did not know what to think. I have not had a pet since I was a kid, but I know a lot of folks who would feel the same way about their pets.  I told her that I could understand, and that I hoped something worked out.  Then the light turned green.  As I drove away I actually figured she would use the money I gave her for cat food. And I was OK with that.

How are these people ending up in my path lately?  I have said before - really - I am NOT that person who talks to homeless people.  But here I am talking to them? 

SO - here is what I think I might have learned so far from these encounters:

1)  It's gotten easier every time.  Maybe it's cause I don't want the guilt of having ignored another human being, but with each encounter it has seemed more like the right thing to do and less "risky".  I would not have thought that ones needs "practice" for this type of thing - but maybe we do.  

2) Each time I have wondered about what I might do differently - and this last time I actually followed thru on that.  When I asked her if she had looked into where to get help - that was something I had thought of only after he fact when approached by the woman who need a place to live. SO, maybe the practice pays off?

And I still wonder what I might have done differently.  One thing - I really should have asked her name...maybe next time I'll remember.  In the mean time, now I have added "woman on the corner"  to the "man on the corner" as folks to pray for.

Let's Do Lunch!

It all started Super Bowl Sunday – I met an old friend for lunch.  It had been a while since we had gotten together, and when we went to leave I apologized for it having taken so long to find a time we could both meet.  Her reply was one of those great unexpected gifts – in effect she replied that with some friends you don’t have to see them to know they are there if you need them, and when you do finally get together you can pick right up where you left off.  Isn't that what we all want and NEED? more of THAT?

That lunch was the beginning of what has turned out to be a month of lunches.  And all of them in their own way highlighted why it is so important to take time to just BE with people.   SO, here are a few of the “lunches” I have had recently:

-       “the new place” – a dear friend suggested lunch at a place I never would have gone to on my own.  LOVED it.  We had not seen each other since the holidays.  We could have both easily been too busy to share an hour over a meal – but we did it any way.  We got caught up on life, shared complaints about the status of our hair, and supported each other in our decision to skip dessert. 

-       “leftovers at home” – my husband and I shared a simple weekday lunch of dinner leftovers at our kitchen table.  No kids.  No agenda.  No calendar planning or household decisions to be made.   Just enjoying the time – never knowing when it might happen again (as I write this he is on travel).  And he pleasantly surprised me with a suggestion I would not have thought he would make.

-       “working lunch” –What started as a purposeful meeting with someone I knew, ended as a wonderful shared time with someone I KNEW much better.  In the end, the “purpose” of the lunch was the topic of least discussion. 

-       “mother/daughter” lunch – I brought an easy lunch to a lovely mother/daughter duo who each in their own right are friends of mine – but I don’t think we had all three lunched together before.   We shared fears, dreams, complaints, joys, and laughter. 

-       “non-lunch” – another “meeting” – but this time food was not part of  it.  We were two busy moms trying to make plans.  It was someone who I had “known” for three years, but after this lunch, felt I really KNEW for the first time.

-       “group lunch” – OK, not a lunch at all – rather it was the Ash Wednesday soup supper at my church.  But, the meal was minimal – which left more time to re-connect with older friends, and bring some newer friends into the circle of fellowship.  One slurp at a time.

-       “pre-lunch” group  - also not a lunch.  Rather a gathering of myself and a group of other women – none under the age of 60.  We all knew each other at least by name – many had known each other for a long time - yet in an hour we grew to know each other even more through sharing of stories involving tears, laughter and a bit of good-natured debate.

 What I learned or was reminded of from these lunches:

-    It’s amazing what you can learn about someone in an hour when you give them your complete attention

-      The importance of an open and honest relationship with my children, esp. as they become teenagers

-      There is much to be learned from the “elders” of the church – there is no substitute for life experience

-  We often have more in common with each other than we think, regardless of age, gender or life circumstance

-       Everyone has a great story – we just need to make the time to listen to it

-       You never know where a conversation will lead if you don’t start one

Today I learned of an idea that someone is trying to form a church that meets “online”.  I found myself dismayed at the thought.  In an age where we are given ever increasing opportunity to seclude ourselves behind machines, I don’t want the church to add to that.  We have real human need to be in relationship with other human beings. Relationships take effort, and time.  They do not happen by accident.  We can go on for a long time with surface level acquaintances, but eventually that gets old.  SO, I am grateful for a month of lunches to remind me of that. And I look forward to hearing more stories – one lunch at a time.