Would you remain homeless to keep your cats?

It's been one of those days where the heart strings are being tugged hard.  I experienced yet another in a growing collection of encounters that leave me wondering.  So, I'll just share.  

For about the 4th time in the past year, I have had an encounter with a homeless person.  I have already written about one such encounter with a man on a street corner in Richmond here.  One time I was approached in a church parking lot (the person wanted to know if the church had a food bank) and one time I was approached in a strip mall parking lot by a woman who needed a place to live.  They all caught me off guard and they all left me wondering afterward what I could have done differently. 

Today's encounter seemed to be an extension of the previous ones.  A woman was sitting in an intersection near my house - a place where I have never seen a homeless person before.  She was on the inside barrier, and my car stopped at the light to where I was literally eye level with her.  Sigh.  I knew what I needed to do - but this time it was not as much a dilemma as it had seemed on those earlier times.  I rolled down my window and handed her whatever cash I had on hand (I was literally on the way to the bank so the sum total was only about $10). I told her I'd pray that her situation improved, and I asked her if she had tried out local shelters or the county for assistance.  She said yes - but the main issue was no one would take her AND her cats.  (yes, I know....what the ???)  She was well spoken and indicated she knew quite well that many people did not understand how she would sacrifice her own well being for a bunch of animals.  Then she said, "those cats have been there for me when no one else has, and I am not going to leave them now".  

wow.  I honestly did not know what to think. I have not had a pet since I was a kid, but I know a lot of folks who would feel the same way about their pets.  I told her that I could understand, and that I hoped something worked out.  Then the light turned green.  As I drove away I actually figured she would use the money I gave her for cat food. And I was OK with that.

How are these people ending up in my path lately?  I have said before - really - I am NOT that person who talks to homeless people.  But here I am talking to them? 

SO - here is what I think I might have learned so far from these encounters:

1)  It's gotten easier every time.  Maybe it's cause I don't want the guilt of having ignored another human being, but with each encounter it has seemed more like the right thing to do and less "risky".  I would not have thought that ones needs "practice" for this type of thing - but maybe we do.  

2) Each time I have wondered about what I might do differently - and this last time I actually followed thru on that.  When I asked her if she had looked into where to get help - that was something I had thought of only after he fact when approached by the woman who need a place to live. SO, maybe the practice pays off?

And I still wonder what I might have done differently.  One thing - I really should have asked her name...maybe next time I'll remember.  In the mean time, now I have added "woman on the corner"  to the "man on the corner" as folks to pray for.

Let's Do Lunch!

It all started Super Bowl Sunday – I met an old friend for lunch.  It had been a while since we had gotten together, and when we went to leave I apologized for it having taken so long to find a time we could both meet.  Her reply was one of those great unexpected gifts – in effect she replied that with some friends you don’t have to see them to know they are there if you need them, and when you do finally get together you can pick right up where you left off.  Isn't that what we all want and NEED? more of THAT?

That lunch was the beginning of what has turned out to be a month of lunches.  And all of them in their own way highlighted why it is so important to take time to just BE with people.   SO, here are a few of the “lunches” I have had recently:

-       “the new place” – a dear friend suggested lunch at a place I never would have gone to on my own.  LOVED it.  We had not seen each other since the holidays.  We could have both easily been too busy to share an hour over a meal – but we did it any way.  We got caught up on life, shared complaints about the status of our hair, and supported each other in our decision to skip dessert. 

-       “leftovers at home” – my husband and I shared a simple weekday lunch of dinner leftovers at our kitchen table.  No kids.  No agenda.  No calendar planning or household decisions to be made.   Just enjoying the time – never knowing when it might happen again (as I write this he is on travel).  And he pleasantly surprised me with a suggestion I would not have thought he would make.

-       “working lunch” –What started as a purposeful meeting with someone I knew, ended as a wonderful shared time with someone I KNEW much better.  In the end, the “purpose” of the lunch was the topic of least discussion. 

-       “mother/daughter” lunch – I brought an easy lunch to a lovely mother/daughter duo who each in their own right are friends of mine – but I don’t think we had all three lunched together before.   We shared fears, dreams, complaints, joys, and laughter. 

-       “non-lunch” – another “meeting” – but this time food was not part of  it.  We were two busy moms trying to make plans.  It was someone who I had “known” for three years, but after this lunch, felt I really KNEW for the first time.

-       “group lunch” – OK, not a lunch at all – rather it was the Ash Wednesday soup supper at my church.  But, the meal was minimal – which left more time to re-connect with older friends, and bring some newer friends into the circle of fellowship.  One slurp at a time.

-       “pre-lunch” group  - also not a lunch.  Rather a gathering of myself and a group of other women – none under the age of 60.  We all knew each other at least by name – many had known each other for a long time - yet in an hour we grew to know each other even more through sharing of stories involving tears, laughter and a bit of good-natured debate.

 What I learned or was reminded of from these lunches:

-    It’s amazing what you can learn about someone in an hour when you give them your complete attention

-      The importance of an open and honest relationship with my children, esp. as they become teenagers

-      There is much to be learned from the “elders” of the church – there is no substitute for life experience

-  We often have more in common with each other than we think, regardless of age, gender or life circumstance

-       Everyone has a great story – we just need to make the time to listen to it

-       You never know where a conversation will lead if you don’t start one

Today I learned of an idea that someone is trying to form a church that meets “online”.  I found myself dismayed at the thought.  In an age where we are given ever increasing opportunity to seclude ourselves behind machines, I don’t want the church to add to that.  We have real human need to be in relationship with other human beings. Relationships take effort, and time.  They do not happen by accident.  We can go on for a long time with surface level acquaintances, but eventually that gets old.  SO, I am grateful for a month of lunches to remind me of that. And I look forward to hearing more stories – one lunch at a time.