Faith of a Child

It's 5:18 am and I'd rather be asleep.  The only drawback to a late Christmas Eve service...when you have children in the house who still believe in Santa, it makes for an even later night for Santa's helpers.  Bed time for this elf was past  2am, and sadly hubby's ongoing recovery from strep has meant a fair amount of snoring.  I'm a light sleeper.  'Nuf said.

So, here I sit wondering how soon the first child will make an appearance, and enjoying the temporary quiet.  We had a truly delightful Christmas Eve.  We attended an early evening Catholic mass, followed by a "fancy" dinner and then a later Presbyterian candlelight service of lessons and carols.  While I loved the stage when the kids were younger, I really like now that they are older and we can actually pull off this marathon night with out any one having a meltdown.

And of course once we were home, last minute preparations - carrots. cookies. milk. NINE carrots - 8 reindeer plus Rudolph makes for a lot of beta-carotene.  But my son would not be swayed to do it any other way.  Really, I tried.

Hmm.  Didn't we just get home from an all night celebration of Jesus' birth? Are my kids getting the wrong message about the reason for the season?

I sometimes wonder during the course of December if my kids really "get it".  They love our Advent wreath - but is it cause they get to blow out the candles?  They love the count down calendars - and also love to fight about whose day it is to change it.  I love that they love Christmas Eve services - but is it because they get to stay up so late??  It's a wonderfully narcissisistic world they live in.    

Then, there is one of those moments when I rest a bit easier.    Like, something my son said on the way to church tonight.  I had forced him to spend one hour in his room laying down to relax before the evening activities.  Only reading was allowed.  My son - who has been keeping a tally of how many presents are under the tree, and who they are for (including shape and size).  My son - who apparently spent some of his hour reading from the bible he got for his first communion.  He proudly announced in the car that he had finished the book of Genesis..."all 50 chapters, from In the beginning to the death of Joseph."

I don't know why he chose to read his bible when he had so many other choices.  My  hope is that he needed something to help him calm down, relax and prepare for the events that lay ahead of him that night.  And if that is true, then I am not so concerned about the long term effects of the man in the red suit.

...Is that the sound of little feet I hear???.....

"Impatiently patient"

Impatiently patient:  I read this phrase yesterday in article totally unrelated to Advent or Christmas.  It seems, however, the perfect phrase for December.  For while prayers for patience seem to happen daily this time of year, in the end it goes something like this: "Lord give me patience, AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW!" (this was totally stolen from my church's Shine! Advent study by Patricia Farris).

A month is really not a long time.  And given the time-warped speed of today's society, it flies by.  We barely even have the time to BE impatient!

But, it's part of the process right?  When we know some thing is worth waiting for, the impatience becomes part of the process which makes makes the final arrival of what we have been waiting for all that much sweeter.  SO, I shall fully indulge in some impatience for the next 24 hours - then I will be ready to give way to the pure JOY when it comes time to hold the candle and sing Silent Night.

And then the real work begins.  For while Christmas Day may pass, the message of the season is only the beginning of the story.  We are called to be "impatiently patient dreamers of God's love on earth" - to look ahead for what wonders God has still in store for all of us and for the world" (Claudio Carvalhaes, APCE Advocate, Fall 2011).

Merry Christmas!

In search of an angel...

It was time.  After almost 20 years, the angel topper my husband had purchased at the CVS with his college roommate REALLY has seen better days.  So last year when we put away all the Christmas decorations, it didn't make it back into the box.  I figured then we HAD to replace it.

Who knew it would be so hard to find an angel topper?  But, here is it 6 days till Christmas and the top of our tree is still in need of a worthy replacement.  I considered a star - but we are angel people.  And even the stars were all pretty lame.  I found one angel that looked OK in the store...but it just isn't working for us.  

 The angel theme seems to be following me around this Advent.  It started with the lyrics of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" and the image of angels "bending near the earth".  It has continued as I hunt for a new topper and hear the traditional readings and songs in worship.  Every year one character in the Christmas story seems to stand out (last year it was all about Mary for me) - this year it's angels.

So, what is it about angels that we love?  And, really, how did we ever progress to the images of pretty ladies flying with wings and wearing white sparkly garments?

I have been reading Adam Hamilton's Journey book this Advent - and he goes into a fair amount of detail about the appearance of the angel Gabriel to Mary - and how really he was likely just a man.  No wings, no halo (I have no opinion on the validity of this - just relaying what I myself read in the book).  And, as I dug a bit further, I was reminded that most of the angels in the bible (especially the old testament) were merely messengers.  No wings, no halo. 

I found myself intrigued enough by this to try and research the history of angels, where the idea of wings came from, etc.  I have not found a really clear answer (yet).  What I did find was that there are a LOT of songs with the word angel.  Seems we humans really like the idea of angels, including angels right here on earth.  So, how we got to that point remains elusive, but in the meantime I will enjoy a lot of angel songs (here are two for your enjoyment) and continue my search for the perfect topper....

The Habit of Tradition

I have always loved the musical “Fiddler on the Roof” – and today I find myself humming one of the favorite tunes from that show – “Tradition”. 

It's a word you hear a lot of at this time of year.   We take comfort in doing things just for the simple reason that we have always done them.  It’s easy and predictable – even if it means more work, and even if after lots of years, it might not actually be all that enjoyable anymore!  But it’s tradition, right??  Or is it just habit?  And in the case of the standard holiday over-eating – maybe a bad habit?

Three years ago this December, Greg and I returned home after living 600 miles way from our children for 2 months.  Our Thanksgiving had been a frozen turkey TV dinner and a Skype chat with the kids.  Hardly a traditional holiday.   Arriving home in mid-December, we just didn’t have the time or the energy to do ALL the things we normally would do at the holidays.  Our children were 5 and 8 at the time.  To them, if you did something even once before, in their minds it became “tradition”.   I am sure they were disappointed a few times that year;  however,  when I think back on it,  I don’t remember what we missed.  I just remember what we DID get to do.

I’ve cut back this year.  I was overwhelmed at the beginning of the holiday season with all the “have-to” items that were in front of me.  All those years of accumulating “new” traditions as our family grew had turned into a burden- and I admit as much fault in perpetuating the problem as anyone else – maybe more.    SO, I am making fewer cookies, and we are trying out more new recipes than re-hashing old ones.  The garland never made it out of the box.  [Really – I think I actually hate garland.  Who knew?]  I am enjoying a lot of new music instead of relying on the same old play list. 

SO, I guess I am accumulating one more new tradition – to focus less on tradition.  So far it has been a blessing.  We are not passing on everything we love to do.   But, we are only doing it if we really want to.  I still made Chocolate Cherry cookies from my 3^rd grade Brownie troop bake off and I will insist on Christmas Eve singing Silent Night in the dark while holding a candle.  Not because it’s a habit, but because it’s tradition.

The Sounds of Babel

I have issues.  This is not new to those who know me well.  I am usually riled up about something.  Apparently this year, it’s Christmas.  But not in the way you may think.

It’s not that I am disinterested or Scroogy about the holidays.  As I write this I am listening to Handel’s Messiah.    Yesterday, I wandered the bookstore and was truly delighted when I found a few titles that I just KNEW were perfect for a few people.  But for some reason, this year I seem to be ever resistant to embracing the season JUST BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE WANTS ME TO.

Last week the priest at mass used the analogy of finding out one had 4 weeks to live to encourage the congregation to embrace Advent for what it truly means. I was appalled at the macabre analogy.  I know what he was trying to say, but couldn’t he find a more cheery way to encourage us?  This week my own church began an Advent study that focused on the “treasure of darkness”.  The tones of the 1^st chapter were more like Lent than the joyous season that is upon us.  Where was  my inspiration for the season??

I have found some in the attached song.  "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQjpDKKPDK4&feature=player_embedded

 I can take no credit for finding it – my pastor played it for our Advent study group. It’s the slowest version of this song that I have ever heard – and it makes it so that one can’t help but pay attention to the words that in all these years I have never learned.   Take a good listen.  I found it incredibly soothing – almost like a lullaby.  And ironic given that in this season we are encouraged to stay awake. 

I have found focus on the following lyrics: “And ever o’er its Babel sounds, the blessed angels sing”.  Many days, I feel we are truly back in the tower of Babel.  There is a veritable cacophony of noise in our face 24/7.  All the demands of the world telling me what I need to make the most of this wonderful season.  This year, I am going to try more than ever to ignore the chaos, and just listen for that sound of the angels singing over us…

Anything but Ordinary

I wrote the following reflection on Advent in late January of 2011.  I never thought I would need to read it in November of 2011.  But as I struggle to get ready for the holiday season, I re-read this to remind myself of how truly rewarding it can be when we focus of what truly matters during this special time of year.  May your own Advent season be one of many blessings.

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The liturgical season of Christmas has officially ended.  We now enter that time of year in the church called “ordinary time”.  I never understood this classification.  And especially after this Advent and Christmas season, it seems all wrong – for this year it was anything but ordinary.

I have always loved Christmas, and we have always done our best to follow the guidance of the church to embrace Advent and all that comes with it.  We light a wreath, read some extra devotionals, have multiple nativity scenes around the house, play carols all the time.  But 2010 had to that point been a year of great spiritual growth in my life, and I was wondering how I might make Advent a little different this year.  So, I tried a few new things.

Active Worship:  I have been involved in worship services before, but this year I had some new experiences.  I helped prepare the church physically for the Advent season, and was blessed to sing in a choir for the first time in over 10 years.  When you are involved in the worship service – whether seen or unseen, you can’t help but pay closer attention and get more out of it.  Participation, especially during Advent, has the ability to heighten all your senses.  It turns the ordinary worship experience into an extraordinary one.

Song: I had a bit of a music revival this year.  In addition to the singing in the choir cantata, I was able to attend 2 performances of Handel’s Messiah that allow the audience to sing along – one at the start of Advent and one just 2 days before Christmas.  One was in a quaint church with a couple hundred people; the other was at the Kennedy Center and involved over 2000 total strangers that I will never see again.  I’ve done this on and off before, but never two performances in one year.  What an incredibly wonderful way to start and end a joyous season.

Gifts:  One of the main things people stress about at the holidays is buying gifts.  I love when I get an idea for someone that seems just right – but hate to buy something uninspiring primarily out of obligation.  This was the year to make a change.  Many of the people I would normally buy gifts for have more than enough “stuff”, including my own immediate family.  This year we used most of the money we would have spent on gifts and instead bought cows, chickens, bunnies, geese and bees from one of our favorite causes (Heifer International) in honor of others.  My husband and I even challenged each other to a monetary limit on gifts for each other.   It was absolutely the most peaceful and rewarding gift-giving (and receiving!) season I have ever experienced. 

Fellowship:  All that time spent NOT shopping and wrapping resulted in God providing opportunities to connect with friends both old and new.  Time for building relationships took a higher priority.  I lunched with a special friend I had not hung out with in way too long.  I ran a race, not by myself as I usually do, but with a fellow church member and 3 other total strangers who were fast friends by the end.  We opened our home for a fairly last minute “perfectly imperfect” Christmas open house, proving further the way God works in unexpected ways. 

My pastor had made a reference in one of his Advent reflections about how much sweeter Christmas Eve is following an Advent truly spent in preparation.  It was never more true than this year.  And in re-reading this, I realize how inadequate these words are to convey the full experience I had this Advent season.  When the lights came on after singing Silent Night on Christmas Eve, I was more than tempted to break the rules and leave with out blowing out my candle.  It had been such a wonderful season I did not want to see it end.  But really, it was only the beginning.  My Advent experience proved to me that if we truly take the time to prepare our hearts and leave them open to how God wants to use them, the feelings of Christmas do not have to end. 

In ending this reflection, I have included the third verse of “O Little Town of Bethlehem”. I have always had a special place in my heart for this song – I sang the fourth verse as a solo when I was in 6^th grade and to this day have that verse ingrained on my brain.  Maybe that’s why I never noticed the third verse as much.  I sang this song more times this year than I can remember, and every time this verse stood out even more.  By itself, the lyrics don’t seem specifically “Christmas” – which is really the point.  The Lamb of God is truly a wonderous gift that is available to us whenever we let Him in – and the results are anything but ordinary.

 

How silently, how silently, The wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts, The blessings of His heaven.
No ear may hear His coming, But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him still, The dear Christ enters in.

The Man on the Corner

Disclaimer #1:  I do not consider myself a “nice” person.  I am not some big meany, but I am not usually the sympathetic ear that people approach to bare their souls (though I have my moments).  I don’t tolerate whining well from most people, including myself. Most times I feel people are in the situations they are in primarily because of their own decisions and actions.

And yet here I am somewhat haunted by a random homeless man on a street corner in Richmond.  I first encountered this man about a month ago.  I was leaving Richmond after a conference and was the first car stopped at a red light.  I saw him right away – with his cardboard sign declaring his homelessness and joblessness complete with long beard.  He wandered by my car while I stared straight ahead.

Disclaimer #2:  After years of living in Washington, DC, I admit to being fairly desensitized to homeless appeals for money.  Especially since we used to interview these folks for our college sociology classes and found out that many of them made quite a bit of money sitting on the streets of DC.  More than they would have earned at some jobs.

SO, what happened that day sitting at the red light?  After the man had already passed my car, I was, quite frankly, overcome by shame.  In my head I just kept thinking – This man is a child of God.  I don’t know how he got here, but how can I ignore him as he walks by?  Being the common sense girl that I am in a shady metro area, I rolled down my window and called over to him to come back.  I looked him square in the eye and said, “I can’t do anything for you long-term but pray.  And I will pray that you find a way to a better situation.”  Then I shoved a wad of bills in his hand and the light turned green.  I realized as I drove away that I never got his name.  But I have been praying for “the man on the corner” ever since.

I have no idea why I felt the urge to communicate with this man.  I am have no idea why he continues to be in my thoughts when most times I would never have remembered him.  But as we approach Thanksgiving and I am thinking of the many who are without basic shelter, I am thankful for that day on the corner in Richmond.  Even when we think we are good people, it is so easy to tune out the needs of our neighbors. 

I was back in Richmond last week.  And found myself at the same red light.  And, there he was.  It might have been the same sign – but he was on the opposite side of the intersection this time and the light changed to green a little faster.  Maybe next time I’ll get his name, but in the meantime I’ll continue to pray for “the man on the corner”.

Why is this a hard question?

So, yesterday a friend asked a question on her facebook status – not intending to start any kind of online debate – but to message her the answer to the following question:  Why are you a Christian, or why are you not a Christian?  

Hmm.  I waited till today to reply – my response was as follows “I can message you a longer response - in fact your question may lead me to a blog post of my own...but 2 short reasons (1) I have experienced the power of prayer among faithful Christians and it is amazing (2) God's grace is a free gift for us - and who am I to turn away a free gift - I need all the grace I can get :)”

What bugs me is (1) why it took me almost 24 hours to post a response and (2) why it was hard to condense it down into a short concise FB appropriate response.  I am not even sure what I wrote really covers it adequately.  One of her FB friends summed it up quite concisely :”because I believe”.  Hmm.

And here is why I think Christians these days tend to get a bad rap.  While so many of us are convicted in our faith behind closed doors, we stumble like babbling idiots when talking about it with others – many times even when it’s someone sitting in the pew next to us.   Maybe for those who are well-versed in theology, it is easier to give a reply.  But for the rest of us still trying to figure it all out, most times don’t we really just do a duck ‘n run?  We figure if we don’t have a polished answer in this highly educated Northern VA demographic, we better not answer at all?  And if we don’t answer, where does that leave us?  Not exactly proclaiming the good news of the Gospel….

Sigh.  SO, we do the best we can and at least hope for improvement!  But it is worth a few minutes to ponder – why ARE you (or are you not) a Christian?

What's on your car?

I always find it interesting, and at times almost a game, to figure out what message people are trying to send by what they have on their car.  For those fully loaded, it's like reading an autobiography. 

I saw a  license plate today "PRAZN GD".  That one seemed easy enough.  Until they cut me off in traffic...

I find myself even more intrigued by the little "people" decals that folks stick to their rear windshield.  I wonder how they decide which persona fits them best?  How do you take your life and narrow it down to one sticker?  Does it really represent what you are, or just what you want people to think you are?  Or is it just what you want to be?  

We have very little décor on our aging mini-van.  A faded sticker from the gymnastics place, a 13.1 shamrock from my ½ marathon and an “All Saints Catholic School” magnet.  I wonder what people think when they see that combination?  I wonder if they think we are a bunch of devout lithe exercise freaks?? What would they think if they knew we no longer have anyone doing gymnastics in the house, I ran that one ½ marathon and have barely logged any miles since, and that the registered owner of the car is Presbyterian?

At the other extreme are the “bare” cars – and I know some people who specifically DON’T want to have any acknowledgement that they might be a Christian on their vehicle because they think it sets a higher expectation of driver competence.  Maybe it does.  Is that so wrong?  I am quite cognizant of the Catholic school sticker on my car, and most times it does actually make me think twice about how I drive.  Except for when it doesn’t – and then I just hope the one I offended will grant me the grace that I would hope to grant them.

What’s stuck (or NOT stuck) on the back of you car?  Does it really represent who you are?  Does it really represent who you want to be?

Running on Faith: Where do you get your energy?

Running on Faith: Where do you get your energy?: I wrote this about a year ago to encourage a group of busy ladies who were gearing up for the busy holiday season. As the stores are alr...

Where do you get your energy?

I wrote this about a year ago to encourage a group of busy ladies who were gearing up for the busy holiday season.  As the stores are already "decked" out - it appears that time has come upon us once again.

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People have said a lot of things about me – both to my face and behind my back.     I have been called “way too much”, “high-energy” and have been told I have an “infectious enthusiasm” (all well-intentioned). When I am enthusiastic about something I tend to interrupt, talk fast and talk a lot.  This I can’t deny.  But recently, while really trying to spend time practicing the fruit of “self control” (with varying degrees of success and failure), I have found myself wondering about the reason for this particular personality trait.  Have I always been this way?  Where do I get my energy anyway?

First a definition: 

Energy defined (thanks to wikipedia):  “Energy is the capacity of a physical system to perform work.  According to the law of conservation of energy, the total energy of a system remains constant, though energy may transform into another form. Two billiard balls colliding, for example, may come to rest, with the resulting energy becoming sound and perhaps a bit of heat at the point of collision.”

I found this interesting – in my totally unscientific interpretation, this means that we always have the same amount of energy available to us – the difference is what is our energy “colliding” with?  And what form is it taking?

Life happens, and though science may claim that energy is a constant, doesn’t it feel at some point we “max out”? Sometimes it seems that our energy level wanes.  We are put through trials that test the limits of our energy.  But does it really reach the limit?  Think about those times when you were certain you could not muster any more strength to carry out the day – but some how you did. 

 

Isaiah 40:31 says: 

But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,

They shall mount up with wings like eagles

They shall run and not be weary

They shall walk and not faint.

For me, this is the answer to my energy questions.  It all has to do with trying as best as I can to be daily in the Word of God.  Regardless of how I feel when the alarm goes off, if I get at least a few minutes each day to read, listen or sing, I continue to be sustained by a constant level of energy.  Many days this energy “collides” with the washing machine, or my own two feet on the pavement, or in caring for a child home sick.  It’s the days when I don’t collide with anything that folks need to watch out!  Perhaps those are the days when I appear a bit more “enthusiastic”.

So what happens if we don’t have hours to spend reading the bible?  Are there ways to keep it up when we feel maxed out?  I think yes!

Think of it like balanced nutrition.  We should eat a healthy breakfast.  Avoid empty calories.  Consume fiber.  But, every now and then you just need something quick and easy.  Like an energy bar.

Energy bar Defined (wikipedia):  “Energy bars are supplemental bars containing cereals and other high energy foods targeted at people that require quick energy but do not have time for a meal. They are different from energy drinks, which contain caffeine, whereas bars provide food energy”

Lately, I’ve come to think of God’s Word as my personal energy bar.  While the living Word alone is not a “replacement meal” for a full and thriving spiritual life, it can be the billiard ball that you collide with to be transformed and renewed – as told to us in  Romans 12:2 -  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Particularly as we approach the busy holiday season, we need to remember where we get our real energy and encourage one another to make sure if we are pressed for time we at last snag an “energy bar” !

The Power of Sharing

I'm no special case.  I am, mostly, just a regular person trying to make the best of a crazy world.  I understand that while I'd like to be in control, I'm not. I get cranky, like to eat large bowls of ice cream late at night, and sing Vacation Bible School songs with the windows rolled down in traffic.

About a year ago I signed up to run a half marathon.  The title of my training log was Running on Faith.  It was a great experience, and after it was over I wrote a little something that folks seemed to relate to.  Since then, for better or worse, I have tried to take some of my random thoughts of life and put them on paper in the context of my Christian faith.  I do it mostly for my own benefit.  No one is obligated to read - but I have found that sharing our faith experiences is a pathway to new opportunities.  So, maybe it will be so for you as well.

We shall see where the path goes!