"You know, it's more enjoyable when you just relax and go with the Gs."
And there you had it. It explained everything. All day I had been trying so hard to use pure strength to control the reaction of my body to the twists and turns. Some times it worked. But something was off. It was not as enjoyable as it was just a month ago.
So the last time through, I just let it go. Just go with the Gs.
That would be G-forces. And my son was talking about our day of riding roller coasters. When pure force takes control of your body as you zoom upside down. He may have been talking coasters...but if he only knew how much deeper his words cut.
It's been a crazy week. It wasn't supposed to be. And its not even over yet. I am not quite sure what happened, but by the time my son and I left for our day of fun, I was wound pretty tight and felt kind of like this:
There is a lot of stuff happening. Good stuff. But it's not stuff I can manage with a "list". In fact, I know much of what I have been working on these days will not succeed if I cling to "the list". But... I need a list. So, this week I spent way too much time trying to make a list that can't be made. And it was totally stressing me out, and I knew it was stressing me out. And then I got stressed about stuff that didn't get done while I was stressed. Like cleaning my kitchen floor.
Sigh. Don't I know better by now?
By the time we left the amusement park today, I was more relaxed than I had been in a while. And then we got home, and an image came across my Facebook page and I just laughed. Yes, a real LOL. Martha, Martha, Martha. There you go again. There was this lovely image depicting the 3 characters in the Martha/Mary/Jesus story. Which made me realize I had no idea what the weekly lectionary texts were. Which made me realize I had missed a LOT of days with my bible. And I spent most of the week stressed? Duh.
God is doing amazing things in my life right now. I have no idea what I'm doing, where its going, or what it means. I am just trying to see daily where it leads and make the best decisions one can make when the information available is scant. It drives my inner Martha totally insane.
But I need to remember that the crazier it gets, the more important it is to get that quiet start to the day. To turn it over to God even before the coffee kicks in and people start asking you to do things. It means some things people ask won't get done, and someone will end up annoyed. And I hate that, cause I am a people pleaser. My inner Mary gets squashed on a daily basis if I don't start out with her in front leading the way. Or should I say, on her knees at Jesus' feet. It IS the better part.
