It all started Super Bowl Sunday – I met an old friend for lunch. It had been a while since we had gotten together, and when we went to leave I apologized for it having taken so long to find a time we could both meet. Her reply was one of those great unexpected gifts – in effect she replied that with some friends you don’t have to see them to know they are there if you need them, and when you do finally get together you can pick right up where you left off. Isn't that what we all want and NEED? more of THAT?
That lunch was the beginning of what has turned out to be a month of lunches. And all of them in their own way highlighted why it is so important to take time to just BE with people. SO, here are a few of the “lunches” I have had recently:
- “the new place” – a dear friend suggested lunch at a place I never would have gone to on my own. LOVED it. We had not seen each other since the holidays. We could have both easily been too busy to share an hour over a meal – but we did it any way. We got caught up on life, shared complaints about the status of our hair, and supported each other in our decision to skip dessert.
- “leftovers at home” – my husband and I shared a simple weekday lunch of dinner leftovers at our kitchen table. No kids. No agenda. No calendar planning or household decisions to be made. Just enjoying the time – never knowing when it might happen again (as I write this he is on travel). And he pleasantly surprised me with a suggestion I would not have thought he would make.
- “working lunch” –What started as a purposeful meeting with someone I knew, ended as a wonderful shared time with someone I KNEW much better. In the end, the “purpose” of the lunch was the topic of least discussion.
- “mother/daughter” lunch – I brought an easy lunch to a lovely mother/daughter duo who each in their own right are friends of mine – but I don’t think we had all three lunched together before. We shared fears, dreams, complaints, joys, and laughter.
- “non-lunch” – another “meeting” – but this time food was not part of it. We were two busy moms trying to make plans. It was someone who I had “known” for three years, but after this lunch, felt I really KNEW for the first time.
- “group lunch” – OK, not a lunch at all – rather it was the Ash Wednesday soup supper at my church. But, the meal was minimal – which left more time to re-connect with older friends, and bring some newer friends into the circle of fellowship. One slurp at a time.
- “pre-lunch” group - also not a lunch. Rather a gathering of myself and a group of other women – none under the age of 60. We all knew each other at least by name – many had known each other for a long time - yet in an hour we grew to know each other even more through sharing of stories involving tears, laughter and a bit of good-natured debate.
- It’s amazing what you can learn about someone in an hour when you give them your complete attention
- The importance of an open and honest relationship with my children, esp. as they become teenagers
- There is much to be learned from the “elders” of the church – there is no substitute for life experience
- We often have more in common with each other than we think, regardless of age, gender or life circumstance
- Everyone has a great story – we just need to make the time to listen to it
- You never know where a conversation will lead if you don’t start one
Today I learned of an idea that someone is trying to form a church that meets “online”. I found myself dismayed at the thought. In an age where we are given ever increasing opportunity to seclude ourselves behind machines, I don’t want the church to add to that. We have real human need to be in relationship with other human beings. Relationships take effort, and time. They do not happen by accident. We can go on for a long time with surface level acquaintances, but eventually that gets old. SO, I am grateful for a month of lunches to remind me of that. And I look forward to hearing more stories – one lunch at a time.
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