Return to the Mountaintop

Funny what a difference a year makes.  Today I "ran" 5 miles and hope to still walk tomorrow.  A year ago I was neck deep in training for my first  1/2 marathon. Today I had Girl Scout cookies for lunch.  A year ago I was 10 pounds lighter thanks to logging 25+ miles in a week on my feet.  

Today was Transfiguration Sunday on the church calendar - a story where Jesus takes some of his disciples up to the top of a mountain and they experience an extraordinary event.  A year ago, this day didn't occur till March 6th.  I ran my race 2 weeks later (I ran the Shamrock 1/2 marathon in support of the American Cancer Society).  At the time, I had no idea it would become my very own mountain top experience!   It certainly was the last thing I expected.  It was a day like no other.  After the race, I was asked about my experience.  Unable to adequately express all that I was feeling in a brief response, I wrote the following piece and shared it with my supporters.  As I re-read it now almost a year later, I can only imagine what the disciples felt on that mountain top.  So, I share what I wrote a year ago, and wish for you all your own mountain top experience.

________

The Race

So many of you asked about how the race went – and it was so awesome there is no one word answer!  So, here is a bit of my 13.1 mile experience:

Early Start:  I woke at 1:45am and never got back to sleep.  Nervous, me??? Yikes!  Good thing I napped Saturday.  I got all the last minute race essentials in place and brewed the in-hotel room coffee (but only 1 cup – not good to OD on coffee unless you want to visit the port-o-john mid race!).

Headed out:  I left the hotel about 5:30am in the dark to walk the mile or so to the race check in.  Yikes it was WINDY – like 20+ mph.  My shamrock headband flew off my head and was promptly stashed in my bag till race start.

Ready to race:  The American Cancer Society DNation team had their own tent to collect our bags with “dry gear” (anything you don’t want to carry in your hands during the race, then they bring it to the finish line for you to get afterwards).  We took a group picture and headed to the race start!

RUN:  The first 3 miles were pretty easy – I went out fast but not too fast.  Got in a good groove, sun was finally up, wind was dying down, everyone was happy.  Frankly, running folks are just so darn nice.  It was early (7am race start) so not so many spectators, but there were some – including folks handing out beer to runners as they passed by (I did not partake at this point…made me ill to think about it actually).

By Mile 4, I was on a total runner’s high – I totally rocked miles 4-8.  The play list was just right, there were bands on the sidelines to keep us going.  I ran negative splits for 5 miles – this means that I got faster with every additional mile.  This was “God moment” #1. I NEVER run negative splits.  NEVER.  By the end of Mile 8, I was running an 11 ½ minute mile pace – this is slow for many, but is practically a sprint in my world.  I was on pace to finish in under 2 ½ hours AND beat the time challenge from one of the survivors I was running for.  I was motivated for many miles at the thought of calling him up and telling him “I did it!”.

Mile 9 – At this point we were back into the wind by the coastline.  I started to slow down, but was still doing pretty well.  I had made a bib to wear on the back of my shirt called “Survivors and Saints” – with all the initials of the many folks I was running for.  I got a lot of comments from the people passing me on my shirt (yes, a lot of people passed me but I guess its OK since they saw the shirt!).  I thought a lot about how lucky I was to even be in that race.  I thought a lot about how just 2 years ago I never would have thought it was possible. 

Mile 10 – Started to feel it in the knees.  God moment #2 – “Run” by After the Chase came up on the play list – it is based on Isaiah 40:31.  I think I played it on repeat for the entire duration of Mile 10.  Truly, the only way my feet kept moving was God watching over me and putting little wings on my feet.  But I was slowing down.

Mile 11 – God moment #3 – and this is what did me in as far as meeting any time goal.  I got another comment on my shirt.  I grunted in appreciation.  Then I got asked a question if I had cancer.  SO, I grunt no as answer to her question.  [For the record, I DO NOT talk when I run.  I am the most unsocial runner ever.  Really, I can’t run and talk at the same time.  I talk too fast that it uses all my air for running!].  Then she starts to pass me and I hear her say she has cancer and then I see the bulge of her PICC line (the permanent IV line where you receive chemo usually).  My heart stops.  My feet barely manage a shuffle at this point as I am overwhelmed with emotion remembering exactly what that PICC line means – even the grind of flushing the line, and cleaning to prevent infection.  So much hope lies in that plastic tubing and I was SO thankful not to be a part of that world any more.  Trying desperately to compose myself so I can keep running, we run side by side for the briefest bit.  We chat as easily as one can when we each have music blaring in our ears.  She has lymphoma.  I tell her my husband was sick, she asks what kind.  She thought he was still sick – I felt an insane amount of guilt when I said he was 2 years cancer free.  I never did get her name.  She said “thanks for caring.”  Then I slowed down more and she pull away.

She changed the entire perspective of that race for me.  I pretty much walked the rest of the race trying not to cry like a baby the entire time.  I saw all the folks who passed me and just took it all in.  It was one of those rare moments when God is so present and you actually realize it WHILE it’s happening and not just after it’s all over.  I crossed the finish line physically exhausted (this was expected), emotionally drained (much more so than I thought I’d be), and spiritually fulfilled (more than I ever thought possible).

Double Dog Dare!

I love how one seemingly normal word can all the sudden seem to pop up every where and take on a larger meaning.  It's like my new car - I see "my car" every where!   Lately, the word has been DARE.  It's popped up in songs, articles - even the new liturgy of the Catholic mass.

Today - it appeared again in this song.  I love the lyrics of the song sung from the perspective of Abraham (and it doesn't hurt that it is sung by the singers from Casting Crowns).  

"Tell me who, but You, would dare me to Believe what I can’t see"  

After hearing this song, I again began pondering the word "Dare".  I chuckled remembering the games of truth or dare I played as a kid.  Then my thoughts went to the current state of the church.  I was recently in a discussion about how hard change is in the church - and in response to the future of the church someone asked "How do you see the church you've never seen?" I think the lyrics above go direct to the point - we haven't seen it yet - but we still need to dare to believe.

SO what would it look like if we were to DARE to believe and live out our faith as we are truly called to do?  I love a good acronym...so how about this:


DARE to be a Christian by:
D igging deep into the Word
A cting out faith through service
R eaching out to those in need
E mbracing everyday miracles


Do you dare?
  

¹ You know, brothers and sisters, that our visit to you was not without results. ² We had previously suffered and been treated outrageously in Philippi, as you know, but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in the face of strong opposition. ³ For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you.⁴ On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. ⁵ You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. ⁶ We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority.⁷ Instead, we were like young children^[a] among you. (Thess 2:1-7)

Don't Worry...Be Happy?

There is a LOT of worry going around.  It seems to be coming from all directions these days.  Friends worried about job security, teens worried about how their life is going to turn out - even my own young kids have worries (today was report card day - I am sure there was some lost sleep last night).  

I keep a running list of prayer concerns in a journal (I am past the point of letting my wee brain remember everything).  Today that list included WAY too many children fighting illness.  And those were just the ones I know about.  Having been in a situation with a family member having a serious illness, I KNOW those parents are worried.  And when people tell them NOT to worry???  Don't even go there.

But, what if it's Jesus telling us not to worry???  As it almost always happens, my weekly bible study highlights some aspect of life that could use some improvement.  Today one of the areas was from Luke 12:25..."Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"  Earlier this week I joked on Facebook that I should take these words and place them strategically around my house -  like on my bedroom ceiling.

I have kind of a crazy imagination -  a blessing and a curse.  It often leads to some really cool ideas - and just as often leads to worry.  Like when my husband does not text me the minute his plane lands somewhere.  and I am convinced his plane has crashed (really - how did folks with traveling spouses ever live before cell phones??).

So, I start to WORRY when Jesus says I am not supposed to WORRY.  Is there no benefit to a little angst?  I have no idea what the right answer is there - but I will say the following:

•  I am human. I am going to worry about stuff.  All kinds of stuff - important stuff, and yes even not-so-important stuff.
• Other people are going to worry.  It is not my place to judge the importance of their worries.  Just like all prayers received by God - my worries are no more or less important than someone else's worries.
• Having lived thru worrisome situations in life - I can say from experience that it's better to take all those worries to God in prayer than let them consume you.  I've done it both ways, and prayer is definitely the way to go.  The bigger the worry, the more praying required.   

I would go so far to say that a strong faith can actually let you worry.  You can imagine the worst and still have confidence that it will all work out somehow.  Faith let's you think the dark thoughts, but then brings you back into the light.

So, don't worry.

Mashups: Expect the Unexpected

Have you ever listened to mashups?  They are when you take two (or more?) completely different songs and play them together to get a "new" song.  Like Jay-Z and Frank Sinatra. Or Madonna and the Beatles.  Or in my case Katy Perry and Kari Jobe.

I have Katy Perry on my workout play list.  I have always liked her "Firework" song.  In many ways, I think of it as the new age version of "This Little Light of Mine".  The lyrics have a way of energizing me [Do you know that there's still a chance for you - you've just got to ignite the light and let it shine...it's always been inside of you and now it's time to let it through].  Then there is the other end of the spectrum - cause post-sweat I like to listen to a more peaceful tune.  Right next to Katy Perry on my list of artists is Kari Jobe, a Christian singer with the most unique voice that often lulls me to sleep on the nights my husband is on travel.  

I chuckled when I noticed that they were the only artists in my music choices that started with a "K".    They couldn't be more different.  Katy Perry makes headlines when her marriage ends and raises eyebrows with some of her bold lyrics.  Kari Jobe leads thousands in worship through song.

But they both inspire me - so I tried an experiment I sometimes do.  I made a mash up.  [I discovered how to do this by accident:  if I open multiple  tabs in my browser and hit the play button on more than one sound file/video they ALL play at the same time].  You never know what you are going to get - it can be awful (and often is) - but every now and then these odd combinations turn out some really funky yet appealing tunes.

It got me to thinking about the current state of the church (as opposed to the State of the Union we heard last night).  I have spent a bunch of time recently reading books and listening to people talk about how we need to use the good things churches have done in the past, yet be open to new ideas in a rapidly changing culture - all with the purpose of sharing the hope of our faith.  

The overlap of recognizing the past, yet making change for the future is not always welcome.  It can create a little chaos.  It's a bit like a mashup.  You never know what you are going to get unless you try.  But, sometimes, you end up making beautiful new music.

Faith of a Child

It's 5:18 am and I'd rather be asleep.  The only drawback to a late Christmas Eve service...when you have children in the house who still believe in Santa, it makes for an even later night for Santa's helpers.  Bed time for this elf was past  2am, and sadly hubby's ongoing recovery from strep has meant a fair amount of snoring.  I'm a light sleeper.  'Nuf said.

So, here I sit wondering how soon the first child will make an appearance, and enjoying the temporary quiet.  We had a truly delightful Christmas Eve.  We attended an early evening Catholic mass, followed by a "fancy" dinner and then a later Presbyterian candlelight service of lessons and carols.  While I loved the stage when the kids were younger, I really like now that they are older and we can actually pull off this marathon night with out any one having a meltdown.

And of course once we were home, last minute preparations - carrots. cookies. milk. NINE carrots - 8 reindeer plus Rudolph makes for a lot of beta-carotene.  But my son would not be swayed to do it any other way.  Really, I tried.

Hmm.  Didn't we just get home from an all night celebration of Jesus' birth? Are my kids getting the wrong message about the reason for the season?

I sometimes wonder during the course of December if my kids really "get it".  They love our Advent wreath - but is it cause they get to blow out the candles?  They love the count down calendars - and also love to fight about whose day it is to change it.  I love that they love Christmas Eve services - but is it because they get to stay up so late??  It's a wonderfully narcissisistic world they live in.    

Then, there is one of those moments when I rest a bit easier.    Like, something my son said on the way to church tonight.  I had forced him to spend one hour in his room laying down to relax before the evening activities.  Only reading was allowed.  My son - who has been keeping a tally of how many presents are under the tree, and who they are for (including shape and size).  My son - who apparently spent some of his hour reading from the bible he got for his first communion.  He proudly announced in the car that he had finished the book of Genesis..."all 50 chapters, from In the beginning to the death of Joseph."

I don't know why he chose to read his bible when he had so many other choices.  My  hope is that he needed something to help him calm down, relax and prepare for the events that lay ahead of him that night.  And if that is true, then I am not so concerned about the long term effects of the man in the red suit.

...Is that the sound of little feet I hear???.....

"Impatiently patient"

Impatiently patient:  I read this phrase yesterday in article totally unrelated to Advent or Christmas.  It seems, however, the perfect phrase for December.  For while prayers for patience seem to happen daily this time of year, in the end it goes something like this: "Lord give me patience, AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW!" (this was totally stolen from my church's Shine! Advent study by Patricia Farris).

A month is really not a long time.  And given the time-warped speed of today's society, it flies by.  We barely even have the time to BE impatient!

But, it's part of the process right?  When we know some thing is worth waiting for, the impatience becomes part of the process which makes makes the final arrival of what we have been waiting for all that much sweeter.  SO, I shall fully indulge in some impatience for the next 24 hours - then I will be ready to give way to the pure JOY when it comes time to hold the candle and sing Silent Night.

And then the real work begins.  For while Christmas Day may pass, the message of the season is only the beginning of the story.  We are called to be "impatiently patient dreamers of God's love on earth" - to look ahead for what wonders God has still in store for all of us and for the world" (Claudio Carvalhaes, APCE Advocate, Fall 2011).

Merry Christmas!

In search of an angel...

It was time.  After almost 20 years, the angel topper my husband had purchased at the CVS with his college roommate REALLY has seen better days.  So last year when we put away all the Christmas decorations, it didn't make it back into the box.  I figured then we HAD to replace it.

Who knew it would be so hard to find an angel topper?  But, here is it 6 days till Christmas and the top of our tree is still in need of a worthy replacement.  I considered a star - but we are angel people.  And even the stars were all pretty lame.  I found one angel that looked OK in the store...but it just isn't working for us.  

 The angel theme seems to be following me around this Advent.  It started with the lyrics of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" and the image of angels "bending near the earth".  It has continued as I hunt for a new topper and hear the traditional readings and songs in worship.  Every year one character in the Christmas story seems to stand out (last year it was all about Mary for me) - this year it's angels.

So, what is it about angels that we love?  And, really, how did we ever progress to the images of pretty ladies flying with wings and wearing white sparkly garments?

I have been reading Adam Hamilton's Journey book this Advent - and he goes into a fair amount of detail about the appearance of the angel Gabriel to Mary - and how really he was likely just a man.  No wings, no halo (I have no opinion on the validity of this - just relaying what I myself read in the book).  And, as I dug a bit further, I was reminded that most of the angels in the bible (especially the old testament) were merely messengers.  No wings, no halo. 

I found myself intrigued enough by this to try and research the history of angels, where the idea of wings came from, etc.  I have not found a really clear answer (yet).  What I did find was that there are a LOT of songs with the word angel.  Seems we humans really like the idea of angels, including angels right here on earth.  So, how we got to that point remains elusive, but in the meantime I will enjoy a lot of angel songs (here are two for your enjoyment) and continue my search for the perfect topper....