Confessions of a Candy Crusher

You know who you are.  You give life.  You ask for extra lives.  You curse multiplying chocolate squares and delight in speckled "donuts".   You are…the candy crushers.  Me too.  I'm totally hooked.

SO, I decided if I am going to spend so much time on this game, I should try to learn something deep and meaningful from the experience.  Strangely, as I thought about it, the game is eerily qualified to ponder in this manner.  So, here are some deep thoughts on this as it relates to Christians and the spiritual life...

1) It's free.  OK - you may have to have acquired the electronic device you use to play it, but you can actually enjoy the benefits and never spend a penny.  It makes me think of grace - the free gift God gives us, all just because He loves us.  It is there for the taking.  Why is it so easy to take some things for free - like addicting, distracting video games, but not this life-giving gift?  

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God— not the result of works, so that no one may boast. (Eph. 2:8-9)

2)  It appears to encourage generosity.  Yes, appears to.  Give friends life!  Sounds good right???  But, when you send a friend a life, it doesn't actually COST you anything.  You literally just click a button.  We are so willing to do things as long as we don't have to give something up right???  NO sacrifice on our part.  Hmm.  And since we are talking about giving life….…how about TRULY giving friends access to REAL life?  Like telling them how great Jesus is?  And sharing about that free gift of grace??  and how about God's great and unending love for them?  I know...we might risk offending someone.   No one ever said being a Christian did not involve sacrifice.  

 like living stones, let yourselves be built^[a] into a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 2: 5)

3)  "You have failed to clear the jelly" - How many times do we fail to reach a goal?  What do we do when that happens?  Are you one of the ones who gives up and stops playing when you hit the same level too many times?  Do you double your efforts and ask every friend you have for more lives so you can show that game who is boss?  Do you cave and buy one of the many enticing "add-ons" to help you pass a level?  I'll admit, I have spent nights anxiously waiting the arrival of new life so I could beat a level, and I have also taken the easy way out and bought some of the "extras" in a moment of desperation.  Not sure what that says about my spiritual state of mind..but it's probably not far off.  How many times do we want to take control of our lives, when we need to remember that we are NOT in control.  How many times do we take the easy way out, when we ought to remember  that 

... endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us" (Romans 5:4-5)

I know.  It's just a game.  Did you know that they are adding new levels to Candy Crush EVERY WEEK?  Did you know that the chances you ever "beat" the game are pretty slim??  SO, maybe we should stop trying to win and concentrate more on HOW we play?   

One of the best things about loving and growing in Christ is the process one goes through while experiencing it.  There is never a dull moment.  You never stop growing.  There is always an opportunity to learn more, and get to another level.

TIPS for a BEE - UTIFUL Summer!

Tomorrow is the last day day of Sunday School classes (at least for my church).  And as a teacher, while I appreciate the reprieve for the summer on a certain level, it is always my hope that families don't take a "vacation" from church.  We might not see everyone in the classroom, but there are lots of fun and creative ways for families with kids of all ages to stay in the bible over the summer.  Here's just a few ideas.  Feel free to add your own!

BEE worshipful: 

-      Play “church” at home – get creative!  Set up chairs, sing a song, say the Lord’s prayer, take an offering, make music with instruments (real or home made), read a bible story together

-       Memorize one component of the worship service you do not already know – such as the Lord’s prayer, the Doxology, the Gloria Patri, or the Apostle’s Creed

BEE in prayer: 

-      Write a family table grace to say at meal times – or look online for some ideas.  Have everyone say one thing that are thankful for before each meal.

-       Make a family prayer wall/board – or designate a decorated box to collect prayers in; or make your own summer prayer chain like we did in Sunday School this year!

BEE in the bible:  

-      Have a bible word hunt – pick a word and try to find it some where in the bible.  Even more fun to do it with a family member or friend and see who can find it first!

-       Visit the kids library at church – read your favorite stories – older kids can read to younger kids.

-       Find different ways to experience the bible – online options like the Glo bible (lite version is free) and the Brick testament website (videos of bible stories using lego) offer new and more interactive ways to experience bible stories (both links are included in the web site list below)

BEE generous: 

-       Decorate a “Jesus Jar” and keep it in a prominent location.  Collect loose change or make it be an offering collection.  Pick a charitable cause that is special to your family and donate all the money at the end of the summer.

BEE in service:

           

-      Find a park or local spot that needs some cleaning up – take care of God’s creation by collecting garbage or planting flowers.

WEBSITES FOR BIBLE APPS, VIDEOS, AND OTHER ACTIVITIES

  

http://www.notconsumed.com/2012/07/16/best-bible-apps-for-kids/ - free and/or cheap bible apps for kids

http://rachelwojo.com/bible-apps-for-kids/ - free and/or cheap bible apps for kids

http://www.worshiphousekids.com/mini-movies  - short videos for kids

http://www.globible.com/ - free (lite version) interactive bible

http://www.thebricktestament.com/home.html - bible story videos using all Legos

http://www.dltk-bible.com/ - coloring pages, craft ideas, word searches and other bible related games

3, 17, 26, 37

In a few hours I'll be 40.  I had hoped to be graceful about it.  I appear to be less and less graceful as the minutes tick by.  I am not sure why I care - 39 was a less than stellar year and I am more than fine leaving it in my dust.  And everyone says 40 is the new 30. I'm just not feelin' it.

So to distract myself, here are my favorite ages from the past 4 decades...one from each decade...

Age 3:  By all accounts from others, I was pretty stinkin' cute at age 3.  I remember actually being baptized (we moved a month before I was born...it took a while to find and get in the groove of a church..I walked up to the font on my own two feet.).  And I was still small enough to crawl in my daddy's lap while he sat in his big black recliner.  There was no problem so big that was not fixed by some time in the chair.  

Age 17:  this covers most of Senior year of high school - an incredible year all around spent with great people, memories of which still make me chuckle out loud.  Perhaps too loud, LOL!.  Not yet a legal adult - so almost free but not totally responsible for myself.  Excited and optimistic for the future.  Really - I felt fairly invincible.  Except for that time I wrecked my car....time in the chair could not fix that one.

Age 26:  ah, the honeymoon phase...literally.  Living as newly weds with my best friend, an incredible man who still puts up with me after 15 years of wedded bliss (in 4 days).  To think that was still only the beginning of our journey!  We came home from work to our little apartment and took "news naps" before leisurely making dinner.  How?  No Kim or Nic yet.  Not yet bearing the responsibility of another human life.  Totally absorbed in us and our dreams.

Age 37: an odd assortment of reasons why this age stands out for me - survival of a stressful time where we came out stronger than we went in; in the best physical shape of my life (even ran a half marathon); a time of incredible spiritual growth.  Past the stage of babies and toddlers (which I loved and wouldn't trade for anything - but it's down right exhausting).  Everything just clicked.  It was a time for new dreams - but not yet feeling that it was so urgent to achieve them.

So, here we are.  Forty Schmorty.  Perhaps it's not bad to be a bit reflective.  I have lived an incredibly blessed existence.  It has not been without challenges, but they have formed me and strengthened my faith each step of the way.  Which, I guess, is why as much as 40 makes me sigh tonight, I will go on faith that I''ll wake up tomorrow ready to make it the best decade yet!  Bring it on!

Stinky Feet

Of all of our body parts that we can boast or complain about, I don't think I have ever heard any say, 

"I LOVE my feet - wanna take a look??"  

More often than not, we are trying to do what we can to cover them up, or in the warmer months, disguising them in color so as to avert any eyes from noticing the details.  But, its just those details that I am pondering today.  

You might say I've had a foot fetish the past couple weeks.  It all started with the story of Mary anointing Jesus' feet with extravagant scent, and washing his feet with her hair.   I have taught this story many times to many ages.  My classes have made "nard", smelled all kinds of things, talked about noses, etc.  We have joked about stinky feet.  My favorite was when boys donned a Hannah Montana wig and acted out the scene.  It's a great story of love.

Now here we are at Maundy Thursday - a day to celebrate the Last Supper..but also that moment when Jesus washed the feet of his disciples.  Such a simple act with such a powerful message.

Here's the thing I can't seem to stop thinking about.    When you wash someone's feet, you HAVE to get up close.  You see the details.  The washer has to either bend over to reach, and come face-to-toe.  Or, the washer might lift a foot off the ground and hold it in a lap?  The logistics may vary, but there is no avoiding the fact that you WILL see the foot and every blemish and bunion on it.  It is a very intimate act.

Today, I was able to participate in a prayer service where over 500 students, teachers, staff and parents took turns washing and drying each others' hands (logistics being what they are, feet are hard to do in that great a number).  I stood back for a bit just watching, and even with just hands you can see the emotions that folks experience submitting to others for this humble act.  Some folks were just plain uncomfortable having others do unto them.

Cause, it's not just about the "footwasher" and the show of love that it represents.  As the receiver of that cleansing, you make yourself vulnerable.  You let someone else see the details.  Jesus told his disciples that as he washed their feet, so they need to wash each others' feet.  And we as Christians are called to do the same.  This requires actions on both the giver and the receiver.  As receivers, we need to allow ourselves to become vulnerable;  to let others' see our details.  And as foot washers, we need to respect those that offer their feet to us, and accept them and love them  - bunions and all.

I don't think I have ever experienced a foot washing service in a church as part of worship, even as merely a dramatic demonstration.  I imagine logistically it can get messy.  Funny - my pastor last week referenced that we don't like some of the "messiness" of Holy Week.  He mostly meant the blood and gore of the crucifixion I think...but maybe the "messiness" of stinky feet is something else we just don't want to deal with??

Wishing everyone a blessed experience on this Holy Week journey.  

Reminder: Bring a disco ball to the party!

So - first a confession…I almost didn't go to church today.  I was going to go for Sunday School and scoot home after.  I was tired, had no other duties, and knew I'd be going to Sunday evening mass with the rest of the family.  But the truth is,  I just was not in a Palm Sunday mood and felt I'd be a drag.  

It's been a time when I find myself overwhelmed by the extreme trials of emotion and illness so many dear to me are experiencing.  Just this coming week alone I know several people who have to go through treatments that will leave them physically in quarantine.  Some unable to even be in the same room as their spouses and children for days.  And this, the holiest week of the year for Christians.  And yet, so many people made to be alone.

So, I had a heavy heart this morning - though I always try to have a happy face.  And then, God began to do his work…

• There was the church member who I saw go out of her way to welcome an obvious visitor who felt a bit uncomfortable - meeting a family member who had not yet arrived. My heart warmed at the reminder of how our church really does its best to welcome all in our midst - whether for a day or a "season".  We are not perfect, but we try.

• The 5 year old girl who admitted "she might be a little shy" when it was time to sing up front…though she has never been shy a day in her life.

• The parent who expressed gratitude for Sunday School and how much his child enjoys it.

• The boy who reminded us that we need to bring our disco balls if we are really going to have a fun party.

• The little girl who wanted to be by her brother's side and was an impromptu new member of the choir, and then continued to dance in the aisle for the remainder of the service.  Her mother worried about her being a distraction, but I saw the smiles she brought to all her watched her.

• The choir director who found a way to include a young boy in the morning's musical offering, even though he'd missed the practices...and the adult who sat next to him and helped him through the service…so that his parents could continue their service in the back hall way preparing the Easter food baskets that would be delivered to families in need.

The pastor got all "crazy" throwing palms around and making a mess.  He made us normally "composed" Presbyterians get all goofy waving our palms and making a joyful noise.  He also talked about next Saturday - that day when we are not sure what to feel.  I thought that maybe those folks who are suffering so much now probably feel like every day is Saturday.  It seems so dark with no hope.  I am comforted that many of the people suffering are faithful Christians, and I pray they will hold onto to hope of Easter like never before.  And I pray even harder for those who don't yet realize that this hope IS there, and that they realize, as my pastor said (slightly paraphrased), "God doesn't leave you at Saturday." 

Sunday IS coming.  Thanks be to God!

Swimming Lessons

There are two kinds of Jersey Shore girls…the kind who work as life guards in the summer and the ones who lay on the beach and only get wet when the sand gets too hot. I would be more the second type.  I don't like to swim.  At least not for exercise.  So, no one is more surprised than I am at the recent turn of events.

I had to get in the water if I wanted to get back to what I REALLY wanted to do.  Running.  SO, I obediently went to water PT for weeks during the winter.  I didn't trust myself to show restraint once I was released from the surgeon to resume all activities (and frankly, neither did my family).  So, I had a friend show me deep water running.  In the pool. Where the goal is to not actually GO anywhere.  But it was a way to get back to running, without actually running.

Then, one day I was stuck in a lane where I could not "run".  SO, I swam.  10 whole laps!  I could not move my arms the next day.  The swimming thing was SO not for me.  But I needed to keep doing it, in order to get back to what I really loved - running.

The next week I did 24 laps and did not bother with "running".  2/3 mile.  I was not even sore the next day.  

Today I did 36 laps.  A whole mile.  Imperfect, ungraceful.  Using only the arms and legs God gave me.  What is going on???  I hate swimming - I am a runner!

Swimming is different from running.  No music (water proof wireless headphones???).  You have to create your own rhythm.  You have to sync your breathing so you don't gulp mouthfuls of water - and you NEED to breathe and fill those lungs or you will run out of steam.  It's also quiet - like in the "I can hear the inside of my brain" kind of quiet.  For a while, you are so focused on breathing at the right time, you don't think about anything else.  But funny - after 20 laps or so, you are in a rhythm, and you don't have to focus on breathing as much.  It all just sort of works.  You can teach an old body new tricks!

And then today it hit me - right there in the pool.  This is just like our Christian journey.  We start off, and at first are focused on the basics - just get to church, get familiar with the bible, find time to pray.  We practice at this - and in time hopefully it becomes part of our lives that we don't have to think about.  And then we add to it.  Bible study, service, deeper prayer.  Each time a new layer that we have to get used to, but that over time becomes part of our personal rhythm. 

But we can get in a rut.  We think we are doing enough.  We want to go back to the things we know, that we do well.  Like running.  Then what?

Here is what I don't like about the pool:  I don't know what I'm doing; it makes me uncomfortable.  I feel like I am making a fool of myself, but I do it anyway.

And today, it renewed my energy.  It gave me peace. And it gave me affirmation that some times the thing we need to do is just the thing that we think we have no idea how to do, the thing that makes us uncomfortable, the thing that makes us look like fools - but we do it anyway.  Kind of like our Christian journey - we might not know what we are doing; it can be uncomfortable; we might look like fools.  But we know we need to do it anyway.

I got in the pool cause I wanted to get back to running.  And now I can't wait to go back to the pool.  

"The human mind may devise many plans, but it is the 

purpose of the Lord that will be established." (Proverbs 19:21)

My facebook has been all lit up with a bunch of folks running long distances this weekend.  I can't believe it was only 2 years ago I was off to VA beach to run my first half marathon (yes, I intend to do at least one more).   I just wanted to finish and have a decent experience.  Little did I know what God had in store!! That race marked a new turn in a wonderfully bizarre spiritual journey that has yet to play out.  I am just getting back into running after surgery and recovery - so while I'll not be on the road in person this year, I'll be there in spirit.  Below is my experience from my race 2 years ago, plus one of my favorite inspirational running songs.

The Race

So many of you asked about how the race went – and it was so awesome there is no one word answer!  So, here is a bit of my 13.1 mile experience:

Early Start:  I woke at 1:45am and never got back to sleep.  Nervous, me??? Yikes! Good thing I napped Saturday.  I got all the last minute race essentials in place and brewed the in-hotel room coffee (but only 1 cup – not good to OD on coffee unless you want to visit the port-o-john mid race!).

Headed out:  I left the hotel about 5:30am in the dark to walk the mile or so to the race check in.  Yikes it was WINDY – like 20+ mph.  My shamrock headband flew off my head and was promptly stashed in my bag till race start.

Ready to race:  The American Cancer Society DNation team had their own tent to collect our bags with “dry gear” (anything you don’t want to carry in your hands during the race, then they bring it to the finish line for you to get afterwards).  We took a group picture and headed to the race start!

RUN:  The first 3 miles were pretty easy – I went out fast but not too fast.  Got in a good groove, sun was finally up, wind was dying down, everyone was happy. Frankly, running folks are just so darn nice.  It was early (7am race start) so not so many spectators, but there were some – including folks handing out beer to runners as they passed by (I did not partake at this point…made me ill to think about it actually).

By Mile 4, I was on a total runner’s high – I totally rocked miles 4-8.  The play list was just right, there were bands on the sidelines to keep us going.  I ran negative splits for 5 miles – this means that I got faster with every additional mile.  This was “God moment” #1. I NEVER run negative splits.  NEVER.  By the end of Mile 8, I was running an 11 ½ minute mile pace – this is slow for many, but is practically a sprint in my world.  I was on pace to finish in under 2 ½ hours AND beat the time challenge from one of the survivors I was running for.  I was motivated for many miles at the thought of calling him up and telling him “I did it!”.

Mile 9 – At this point we were back into the wind by the coastline.  I started to slow down, but was still doing pretty well.  I had made a bib to wear on the back of my shirt called “Survivors and Saints” – with all the initials of the many folks I was running for.  I got a lot of comments from the people passing me on my shirt (yes, a lot of people passed me but I guess its OK since they saw the shirt!).  I thought a lot about how lucky I was to even be in that race.  I thought a lot about how just 2 years ago I never would have thought it was possible. 

Mile 10 – Started to feel it in the knees.  God moment #2 – “Run” by After the Chase came up on the play list – it is based on Isaiah 40:31.  I think I played it on repeat for the entire duration of Mile 10.  Truly, the only way my feet kept moving was God watching over me and putting little wings on my feet.  But I was slowing down.

Mile 11 – God moment #3 – and this is what did me in as far as meeting any time goal.  I got another comment on my shirt.  I grunted in appreciation.  Then I got asked a question if I had cancer.  SO, I grunt no as answer to her question.  [For the record, I DO NOT talk when I run.  I am the most unsocial runner ever.  Really, I can’t run and talk at the same time.  I talk too fast that it uses all my air for running!].  Then she starts to pass me and I hear her say she has cancer and then I see the bulge of her PICC line (the permanent IV line where you receive chemo usually).  My heart stops.  My feet barely manage a shuffle at this point as I am overwhelmed with emotion remembering exactly what that PICC line means – even the grind of flushing the line, and cleaning to prevent infection.  So much hope lies in that plastic tubing and I was SO thankful not to be a part of that world any more.  Trying desperately to compose myself so I can keep running, we run side by side for the briefest bit.  We chat as easily as one can when we each have music blaring in our ears.  She has lymphoma.  I tell her my husband was sick, she asks what kind.  She thought he was still sick – I felt an insane amount of guilt when I said he was 2 years cancer free.  I never did get her name.  She said “thanks for caring.”  Then I slowed down more and she pull away.

She changed the entire perspective of that race for me.  I pretty much walked the rest of the race trying not to cry like a baby the entire time.  I saw all the folks who passed me and just took it all in.  It was one of those rare moments when God is so present and you actually realize it WHILE it’s happening and not just after it’s all over.  I crossed the finish line physically exhausted (this was expected), emotionally drained (much more so than I thought I’d be), and spiritually fulfilled (more than I ever thought possible).